Time Warped Chapter 1:MISSING TIME
by Peener1000
Summary: Kyle makes a bet with Cartman about what year they were born. What they uncover brings more confusion along with allot of trouble for the boys. Are the towns adults hiding a secret that could bring time to a stop. Complete overhaul of character' and plot.
1. Chapter 1

**SOUTH PARK: TIME WARPED**

Written by Peener1000 based on characters and settings created by Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

**Chapter 1: Missing Time**

Four young children are standing at the bus stop. The same old bus stop they had been waiting at everyday for what seemed like forever. Waiting for a school bus to take them to the same school they have been attending for years. Across the street was a field full of cows standing peacefully in the winter snow. This is South Park where time seems to stop and linger. Where the residents seem a little stranger to the outside world, maybe it is the isolation and perpetual cold of the environment that causes this feeling of other worldliness.

The boys are Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman, who was usually the late one. Today was a little different, though.  
>Kyle runs as fast as he can yelling about a new mystery he discovered. His breath forming chilly clouds of vapour when he speaks excitedly in an asthmatic wheeze.<p>

"Ever wonder why we wait at this bus stop every day?" Kyle started.

"No, I guess we just do this out of habit." Stan answered.

Almost losing his voice in the rush of cold air through the nostrils, he quickly said, "I mean every day feels like the same, nothing ever changes. I feel like we have been here forever."

Earlier that morning the little boy was snooping around the family records to find his birth certificate. This was a bet he made with Cartman the previous day about when they were born. Cartman loved to wager about almost anything, especially if he knew he had the winning edge.

"So, what does the Birth Certificate say, Kyle." Cartman pushed in closer to see.  
>In a monotone of disbelief Kyle read. "It says May 26, 1990. That is not possible. I thought I was born in 2001?"<p>

"You owe me $10.00 Kyle! I knew it because my Mother told me.", Cartman taunted.

The reply was swift from the other boys on Kyle's behalf. "That does not prove anything fat ass. I am going to prove you planted that to cheat.", Stan argued.

"So explain why the 1989 Denver Broncos were at the Drunken Barn Dance? My father was Jack Tenorman, he was on that team and now I know he was my real Father.", Cartman responded now angered by his friends lack of belief in him.

"Go home and find out for yourself, Stan. I am being serious this time."

The following day at the same bus stop the four boys were waiting for the school bus when Stan began to relate how he went home after school the previous day and asked his Dad, Randy Marsh, how old he was. Even though this is not an unusual question for a child, his Dad was reluctant to answer.

"How old am I. Why do you want to know that Son?" But Randy felt a lump of anxiety in his throat. How would he censor this question with a believable answer.

Stan replied with the usual; It's for a class project. This reply was never met by parents as being out of the ordinary, no matter how strange the request.

"Well I was born in 1952 so I must be 39." Randy said confidently.

"That cannot be right Dad. This is 2011 you should be 59." Stan was getting himself into something that was going to be the biggest mystery and trouble he had ever been in.

"Stan, don't ask questions and life will be better for you.", Warned Randy sternly.

Stan wanted to know why time felt off somehow. He began to believe that Cartnan was right. Life seemed to be going in a loop. He could barely remember what happened last year. Every day was just the same. The same snow. The same clothes. The same situations only slightly altered.

After he finished what had happened and what he learned at home, Eric Started his I'm right and you're wrong song dance.

"Na, na, na nuh, I was right all along and you guys a losers, Na, na na nuh. "

I told you guy's, there is something big going on here. And you never believe me. You really should give me more credit for my brilliance. Someday, I know I will be vindicated when all this is proven true.", Cartman said feeling proud.

He continued gloating by telling his own story of how he came up the theory, which was the basis for this bet.

"My Mother told me that she was born in 1965 but she is only 36. Explain that.", finished Cartman.

"Even if this is true. which it isn't, I don't care. This is the only life we know.", Kyle said with some disdain in his voice.

A moment of silence stopped the boys until the school bus arrived. was everything they were told a lie? Only time will tell and even that seems to be getting shorter in their small town.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 Doctor Mephisto's Lab**

Mephisto's Laboratory is on a hill, which over looks the whole town, sitting like a castle in an area oddly desolate of snow. Many of the towns folk are afraid to come here and would rather forget it exists. Inside lives a Doctor or as some people, including the Mayor, call him a deranged scientist. For many years Mephisto with his mini clone assistant Kevin, perform ghastly experiments on animals. But the Doctor has other concerns now, as his sanctuary has been invaded by an angry mob from all over Park County. Somehow they believe The Doctor has something to do with all of their clocks, microwaves and other electrical devices malfunctioning lately.

"Doctor Mephisto, Mayor McDaniels scornfully addresses him. Where is the Time Displacement Unit?"

The townsfolk are are waving sticks and yelling something about missing time.

"I fell asleep on Tuesday night and now it is Friday again!", yelled a black haired woman in the front of the crowd.

"I missed a whole week of work on account of you, Mephisto! Give me back my time!", demanded another person wearing coveralls and carrying a pitchfork.

The crowd started chanting in unison "He took are time!"

Sheila Broflovski is Kyle's Mother and she pushed her way to the front to say, "My boy is asking questions about his age Doctor, I am afraid we cannot keep this secret any longer."

Dr. Mephisto looks worried and yet keeps his calm demeanor and said, "I have been taking care of our time for 15 years. It is to soon to give it up. My research is not yet complete."

The Mayor warned the Dr. Mephisto sharply, "We believe some of the towns children are catching on to our plans. It is time to shut this project down. So show me where the device is."

Just after Mayor McDaniels finished she motioned to her two henchmen to bring out four captive boys in front of Dr. Mephisto.

Earlier that day Kyle was caught by Mr. Mackey, the elementary school counselor, when he showed his 1990 birth certificate to him. He had no idea how far this conspiracy reached or that it was real conspiracy anyhow. Now all four boys are captured for finding out a terrible secret, the only children to find out about the missing time.

"Maybe this will persuade you to reset the time. Do you know these children, Dr.?"

Stan looks defiant in spite of the danger. Kyle appears scared and is looking at the floor. And Cartman is smug as always now that he knows everything and thinks he is on the adults side. Kenny stays calm and seems indifferent to the situation around him.

"Dr. Mephisto, Kyle greeted, trying to avoid eye contact. "We need your help in discovering our past."

"Let me guess, you discovered this towns horrible secret and now the everybody is here to shut down my life's work.", finished Mephisto.

The Doctor began to address the audience to assuage their fears.

"Just two more years and all of this will be over. Every crazy event of the past 15 years condensed and studied into a small 3 and a half year block of time. All over because of some curious boys.", He said hoping to gain their confidence.

Turning his back to everyone Mephisto sighed, "Well, we might as well get this over with. Come with me but just Mayor McDaniels and these boys."

The Doctor motioned to follow down a long hallway to a windowless bolted door at the end. Getting his keys out to unlock the door he warned, "Boys, behind this door all the mysteries of our town will be revealed."

After they all get inside the room Dr. Mephisto closes the door so none of the energy escapes.  
>The room is dark with a giant square machine in the middle. On a pedestal under a round dome of the machine is a spinning silver orb the size of a tether ball. The orb is suspended in air with visible electric sparks shooting in all directions.<p>

"Welcome inside the time dilation room, I'll explain it to you the best I can. You see, I've been working on this project for quite awhile now, and I think I'm getting closer to a possible answer to protect the world from any disaster."

Mephisto flicked on the lights to reveal two boxes heavily guarded by a glass wall, each containing a Baboon monkey inside them. One of them looked younger than the other, possibly a baby.  
>On the right side of the wall, there was a blue light and a giant generator machine, hooked up to a computer screen that monitored it's progress. The monkey didn't react to their presence at all. It appeared to be either really slow, or frozen in time.<p>

The boys seemed in awe and in disbelief. The whole room was glowing in a green light, an empty eerie stillness filled them with an uncomfortable feeling of dread.

"What is this place?", Kyle said while staring at the odd machine.

"That, Mephisto pointed, Is a Tachyon Reflector-Matron. It changes the speed of sub-atomic particles and can alter time itself."

Time is about to catch up with this small town.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: The Day The Town Stood Still**

The Doctor began another one of his bizarre expositions like he has done many times in the towns past. This is not the first mystery this town has lived through. And probably not the last.

"Notice how every week goes by and time just seems to reset. Every week it's the same common day but the years feel longer. In our temporal field of South Park only 233 weeks have past but in the outside world it has been 767 weeks."

The Tachyon-Reflector Matron is a device that can alter the rate of time and space in the 4th dimension. Slowing down or speeding up the relativity of the place it is set up in. Our brains perceive time as a series of events. The older you get the less time you have. Days seem shorter. This is caused by our daily repetition so the brain has no memory of those boring daily activities. After some aging everyday seems the same.

"That explains why my birth certificate is out of date and my parents seem younger than they say they are. I just felt something was strange." Kyle said matter of fact.

Then Stan finally snapping out of his haze of unbelief figures out the rest.

"This means that this entire town is suspended in a time warped loop, where time itself occurs at 1/3rd slower than we perceive, or experience it. And it just started happening 15 years ago?" Stan exclaimed with trepidation.

"Wait! So does this mean we are not really 10 years old?" Stan asked, a quivering fear of despair in his voice.

This was all just too weird for him.

"I'm afraid so. The truth is, you are all in your Twenties and are trapped in children's bodies and will most likely never grow old. Not only has your DNA been warped by physics, you will survive long after the experiment is over and will most likely have to be put down by Government officials, if they ever find out about your hideously strange condition." , Mephisto answered.

Their jaws all dropped.

The Mayor stopped Dr. Mephisto right there. "Yes and now that you know everything you will never tell anybody else. Just then Mayor McDaniels shape shifted into a a giant four legged alien montster. Dagger sharp teeth and green skin like a lizard. Two antennae, bulging eyes and a forked tongue.

"I am Najix. Your whole lives and everyone in your town belong to me. This was all a grand experiment in studying human social behavior."

The boys yelled now that the Mayor showed her true form. Their whole lives were being monitored by the Visitors or as some people describe them The Watchers. And Najix is their commander. She is the one who transformed into the Super Adventure club leader in order to lure Chef away.

"It is true and without Chef we have had full control of the town. We got rid of him because he knew to much and was trying to stop us.", Said Najix as saliva dripped from it's hideous mouth.

Four Visitors materialize in Dr. Mephisto's Lab in front of everyone present. This is not the first time the Dr. has met them face to face.

Then Najix spoke to Dr. Mephisto, "So, you told these boys everything about our plans with time displacement."

Dr. Mephisto looks worried, "The children are too smart, they would have found out about it sooner or later. Besides I did not tell them everything."

All the Visitors look at each other as if simultaneously conferring a decision.

"We must take these children to our ship for observation and debriefing."

As they all dematerialized and transported onto the Visitors alien spacecraft. Leaving Dr. Mephisto and clone Kevin alone once again.

Once on board the spacecraft Najix begins telling the boys about the experiment further relating that the town of South Park was in a state of suspended animation. In order to test the humans in a controlled environment they needed isolation.

While Najix was talking, Kenny got bored and wandered toward an alien creature that looked like a cross between a gerbil and a lizard. Reaching his little hand out to touch the animal it's mouth opened, stretching wide and swallowed little Kenny whole.

From the noise everyone looked at the gerbil/lizard thing bloated from the mass of the child. Quickly it spit out a carcass of bones and strips of a orange jacket all covered in slimy mucus.

With a shocked exclamation Stan shouted, "That thing ate Kenny!"

Followed by Kyle denouncing the alien beast as, "You Bastard!"

Najix finished his speech, "We must erase their memories of this event and reset the Tachyon Reflector-Matron to two days past."


End file.
